A disparate set of disturbing occurrences across London gardens which baffled police has now been solved following an investigation. Over the past month, concerned homeowners have contacted local authorities to report unusual sightings in their gardens.
Talk About a Lawn Design
Witnesses have described UFOs landings and brown patches forming diminutive versions of crop circles all over their lawns. After recovering from the initial shock, homeowners have also reported that all of their garden gnomes have gone missing.
Just One of Many
The MI5 and MI6 joined the Metropolitan Police Service in what seemed to be the biggest gnome abduction case in history. Police forces and intelligence services worked together to establish a connection between the unusual events in quiet London suburbs and a series of rampages in Central London.
Chaos Spreads Further
A spokesperson for the Metropolitan police has stated that the case which involved paranormal activities and gnome profanity and obscenity has now been solved. Witness testimonials, interrogations, CCTV footage, and other clear and convincing evidence have led investigators to a shocking discovery. All missing garden gnomes from suburban homes were actually preadolescent alien forms of life from the planet Brourem. Sources close to the police reveal that these extraterrestrial youths were placed as garden gnomes by their parents who were seeking refuge for their offspring from a destructive war conflict with the planet Rouffirdae.
Let’s Get The Party Started
Following a peace treaty between His High Priesthood Moplaolara of Brourem and the Supreme Lord of Rouffirdae – Slaberus the Sloppy, Brouremerians felt safe to come back to Earth to pick up their young ones. Before taking off, however, they took to the streets of London in celebrations of the newly established galaxy order, which ensued collateral damage, mainly petty thefts and indecent exposure.
Police would like to reassure the public that all extraterrestrials who had taken gnome form have now left the planet Earth and that citizens can have complete peace of mind buying new garden decorations at their local garden centres.
And Fantastic Gardeners would like to wish you a Happy April Fool’s Day and remind you that you can rely on us for all sorts of usual and unusual activities in your gardens, as our services are just out of this world!